Peru!

Boy, does the time fly! It's already been two months since my last post, and since then I've been to Peru and back! After stateside in Iowa, our first flight to Peru was out of the Chicago O'Hare airport, so we headed for Illinois! We flew from Chicago to Lima, then from Lima to Iquitos. We were all so excited when we finally made it! We took a (wooden) bus form the airport to the YWAM base that was hosting us, and we got settled in. Those next six weeks were some of the most difficult, but also the most amazing weeks I've ever been through. There are so many wonderful stories, and I wish I could type every single one of them out for you! The Lord really used the time in Peru to work in my life, and to help me work through some things in my heart. This outreach was definitely a time of personal growth for me! One huge area was in the area of trusting the Lord, and it played out when it came to house visits/evangelism. I am a pretty shy person, and I don't really like talking to people I don't know. So going up to someone's house, being invited in, and then sitting there uncomfortably while I try to think of what I'm going to say next, was not my favorite thing to do. Needless to say, I did not always have the best attitude when we would head out to do house visits, and I would usually just sit back and let everyone else do the talking. I knew that wasn't right, though. I mean, the whole reason I was in Peru was to share with people about what the Lord has done in my life, and how can I do that when I never say anything?? I was just always afraid that I wouldn't know what to say, and I wasn't trusting that the Lord would give me the words. Until one day, during the week we spent out in communities on the river, we were getting ready to walk throughout the community and do house visits. We stopped at the first house, and there was an elderly lady sitting on the floor. Her name was Juana, and she couldn't speak, so we had to ask "yes" or "no" questions. Then my leader, Kristen, suggested that I share my testimony with her. I was so nervous! I never really share my "salvation testimony," but I felt like that was the story I was suppose to share. I did not expect it to come out smoothly, and I wasn't sure if it would even make sense by the end, but I started sharing it anyway. That was the first time that I had spoken out like that during ministry, and the Lord was definitely guiding me in what to say! I have never told a testimony that smoothly, and the farther I got into the story, the more confident I became. That was just the beginning of one of my favorite days from outreach! The Lord really used that day to teach me to lean into Him and trust Him to meet me in the moments when I feel like I don't know what to say. We got to see people come to know the Lord, and it was really cool knowing that God used me to help make it happen. 

Even though it's nice to be back at home, it's still really weird to think that I'm not only already done with outreach, but that I've finished my DTS! It came and went so quickly, it's insane. I miss my YWAM family!

Update From Marion, Iowa!

Hey Everyone! 

So it's been a while since I posted, and I thought I'd give you all a quick update! We started off stateside in Seymour, Indiana (it was a blast!) and are currently in Marion, Iowa for the next few days! Stateside has been super fun so far, and I can't wait to see how God uses us to work with this next youth group. 

On a different note, I have some super exciting news! As of last night we have officially raised all of our funds for Peru!!! Praise The Lord! It's been so incredible to watch The Lord provide, and I want to thank everyone who helped support our trip. Without the funds we wouldn't make it to Peru this summer, so you all are just as much a part of what The Lord will be doing in Iquitos as we are! 

Alright, sorry this was such a short post, but I have to get back to stateside stuff now! (Time to practice our skits one last time!) I will try to update again soon! :) 

The Promise Ring

Alright guys! Here's the other story of how God has been showing me His love these past few weeks. :) (It's actually the testimony I'm planning on sharing during stateside, so as I was typing it out I figured I'd share it with you all too!)

I have never been in a relationship. But that doesn't mean I've never had "boy trouble." In fact, the desire for a relationship is something that has caused quite a few unnecessary emotional problems for me. Ever since I can remember, from as young as the age of five, I have always been interested in boys. I actually don't think there has been a time in my life that I didn't have a crush on somebody. Of course, as a kid it's all just in good fun; but when I reached middle school and high school I actually began to give my emotions away. Whenever a guy would start to show interest in me, or seemed to care, my heart got ahead of my brain and I would just pour out my heart to them. I would trust them with my emotions, and when it didn't end well (as no fourteen year old romance ever does), I was left with a wounded heart.

I never did the smart thing in these situations though, which would be to turn to the Lord. I would just turn to the next boy who seemed interested in caring for my emotions. So even though none of these infatuations were anything close to an actual "relationship," they were enough to leave my heart tattered in the end, and my emotions vulnerable. 

Since coming to Youth With A Mission this past Spring, I have learned so much that I never even thought of before, and one prime example is that I've learned how to hear and recognize the voice of the Lord. Throughout my DTS, He has just been revealing so many levels of His love to me. When I got here, I knew that an area of my life I needed to surrender to Him was relationship. Because of my strong desire for one, it was so much easier said than done. But several weeks ago, one of our speakers told a story of how God provided a ring for his wife, because "she is His princess and a princess deserves her jewels." After that lesson I asked the Lord to give me a ring; but not just for the sake of having a ring, I wanted it to symbolize a promise! I wanted a symbol that would remind me that I am the Lord's, He is my one and only love, and only He holds my heart. Now, when a guy proposes to a girl, the girl doesn't just go drive herself to the store and buy the ring herself! I wanted it to come from Him. That way I would NEVER forget what it means! One day I was really struggling with that desire for relationship, and I said to the Lord, "God, I wish you would give me that ring already! That way whenever I look at it I could remember my promise to You. That would make things so much easier." Then, as gentle as could be, I heard Him reply, "I haven't given it to you yet because you still aren't fully mine." What a wake-up call that was! It was then that I had realized - my thinking was totally backwards! A guy doesn't "put a ring on it" if he knows that girl is still running around with other guys. He proposes when he knows they're both committed and ready to start their adventure together. The Lord doesn't want to give me a ring in hopes that I'll look at it and remember His love, He wants to give me the ring when He knows I am already fully His. It was that day that I realized, I don't need another relationship, I already have the best relationship with the biggest romantic there is! And He is the only Love that will never let me down, and the only one that can truly satisfy my desires. 

Oh, How He Loves..

Hey guys! So lecture phase is over and I can't believe it! On Monday we will be starting week twelve, and prepping for stateside. I have no idea where these past eleven weeks went, but they definitely flew by. It's so crazy to think that we're already halfway done with DTS, but I'm SO excited for what's in store for stateside and outreach! Yesterday we learned the Everything drama and practiced it a few times. I have the part of the girl, so I'm super excited and nervous at the same time! I've never really performed anything before, let alone had a main part; but this drama is so incredible and impactful, I can't wait for our team to share it in Peru. We are still raising funds for outreach, and our group total went up another 5% since our last finance check, so now we only have 22% left to raise! It's due by next Friday, so if you would like to pray with us for God's provision in this, it would definitely be appreciated. :)
                                                           
                                                ~

So, it's been a while since I shared with you guys what God has been showing me personally. (This one will probably be a bit lengthy..sorry!) Over these past few weeks God has really been drawing me closer to Him, and it's been great! As I said in one of my earlier posts, I've had trouble in the past with being a good steward of my emotions. I've struggled with insecurities about my body image since I was pretty young; I would guess about eleven or twelve. I always felt big, especially when comparing myself to my friends. Although, looking back at pictures of myself from when I was twelve, I think I must have been crazy. To quote a meme I once found on Pinterest, "I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat." Haha, but anyway, I've always had a hard time accepting my body the way it is, and I never really felt like I was anything worth being noticed. So, whenever I would actually receive attention from a guy, (as Dean Sherman would say) I turned into an "emotional prostitute." It was hard to believe that someone might actually be interested in me; so needless to say, whenever I would receive attention from a guy, I didn't do a good job at guarding my heart. Although, it wasn't always that I needed to guard it from others, but sometimes I needed to guard it from myself. In my own mind and heart, I could be giving away my emotions to others, and they probably didn't even realize it. So throughout these past weeks, I've been struggling with guarding my emotions, and with loving myself the way Jesus loves me. 

In February my mom and I ran a half marathon, and because of that I had lost quite a bit of weight. I had reached my goal of 140 lbs., and felt like I finally looked "the way I should." I still wasn't quite the standard of skinny I would like to be, but I was getting there. Over the eleven weeks of being here in Kentucky it's been really hard to keep a consistent workout schedule. That being said, since I've been here I've gained back everything I lost while I was running, and when I weighed myself a few weeks ago I pretty much lost it. (I was almost upset that I had come here, because if I stayed home I could have kept my workout routine and I would probably be even skinnier by now, instead of back to square one.) Obviously the thoughts going through my mind at this moment were along the lines of "what's wrong with you? That's disgusting. Who would ever like you when you look like this?" I was partially mad at myself for gaining weight, and partially mad because I was getting so upset over something so petty. From that point my brain went into weight-loss mode, and I was gonna do everything I could to lose those pounds in the few weeks I had left until outreach - but then I realized something. In the midst of being so concerned with my body image, I was completely losing sight of everything important! How could I regret coming here for DTS?? Especially over something like this! YWAM has been life changing for me, and I was allowing the lies the enemy had told me through my insecurities to completely distract me from all of that! So after a few weeks of struggling to not cringe every time I see myself in the mirror, or every time I get dressed and my clothes don't fit quite the way I'd like them to anymore, God spoke to me this morning while I was on a walk. As I was thinking to myself "and I figured I'd LOSE weight here, considering I have to walk everywhere.." God said "and who says you needed to lose weight?" As I thought about it, I realized that it was just me. Me and today's society, that is. Then He told me how, to Him, I'm perfect. I am flawless, I am beautiful, and I am loved. He loves me just the way I am, and my true friends do too. They don't care if I've gained a little fluff ;) They love me for ME, not my carcass! Now obviously there is a way to be smart about my weight - it's not like I'm gonna eat quarts of ice cream and a whole sleeve of Oreos every night. But what does matter is my motivation - am I doing it solely to take care of this wonderful body God created, or am I doing it because I'm worried about what others think of me? Am I wanting to be healthy, or attract the wrong kind of attention? 

So that's a glimpse of what God's been speaking to me these past couple weeks! He's really been showing me His love for me, and winning my heart back from the things I had previously given it to. I love getting to fall more in love with Him everyday, and it's always fun to discover what He has in store for the next time! Not only has he begun to strip away the burden of my self-esteem issues, but He's helped me with my "emotional prostitution," and I now understand, in my heart as well as my mind, that He is the only one worth giving my heart to, because He is the only one who can fully be trusted with it. He will never do anything to hurt it, and He is the only one who can and will ALWAYS love me unconditionally. But that's a story I'll probably end up sharing later.. :)

Well, if you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! Sorry it was so long! (And I sure hope it made sense. My thoughts were a bit scattered! Haha) 

Deputation!

Hey Everyone! Sorry it took me so long to post, this past week has been crazy busy! Two Thursdays ago, on May 29th, I flew home for a few days to meet up with people and talk about what's been going on here at YWAM, let them know what we'll be doing on outreach, and to talk about fundraising for Peru. I loved getting to see my family for a few days and hang out with my little sister! It was so great to get to catch up with my friends too! It was an extremely eventful five days, and it took just about this whole past week to recover and get my energy back - but it was worth it! Before I left for home, my team (totaled together) was 35% of the way to reaching our financial goal. I personally still needed to raise $3,690 for my part. Since I've been back in Kentucky, my class is now 59% of the way to our combined goal, and I personally only have $2,600 left to raise! Our second round of letters made it to their destinations, and in just a short amount of time (about a week) I gained $1,090 for Peru! The Lord is definitely providing for us, and it's so cool to see it happen! We still have a ways to go, but I know that God is faithful and that He will provide the rest of the finances we need to get to Peru! 

Perseverance!

Hey guys! So something crazy cool has been happening! This past week we learned about Spiritual Warfare with Dean Sherman. It's a really neat lesson and I'm learning a lot, but the super cool part is that a couple days into the lesson we realized that we were being faced with a spiritual battle! We sent out our second letters two weeks ago today, the letters telling people more about our mission trip to Peru. It should have only taken them about three days to arrive at their destinations, but so far only a few that have been sent out have actually been received. At first we just thought it seemed odd, but as we kept watching our videos on spiritual warfare we realized that this was two things : God putting our faith in His faithfulness to the test, but that it was also an attack from the enemy, trying to prevent our letters from reaching people. During intercession for our YWAM base at the conference two weeks ago, God gave someone the image of a bow and arrow. The tighter the bowstring, the more resistance there is when you have to pull it back; but the arrow will fly farther and with more accuracy to hit it's mark. So that makes sense, it lines up with God testing our faith! Another person heard that Peru would be good for the Peruvians, but that it would also be good for our team. So that also lines up with the attack from Satan - of course he doesn't want us going to Peru and changing lives (including our own)! He wants to do everything he can to prevent that. Someone else got that there would be a time of fasting at our base. Our leader Kristen wasn't at intercession that day at the conference, so when she mentioned that she felt maybe we should fast during lunch and pray about this the other afternoon, it was obviously no coincidence! Our class got together and prayed about it again last night, and asked the Lord what we should do next. We know that He will provide for this trip, but we also know that we can't just be lazy about it, we need to fight for this! So after praying about it, resisting the enemy and his works in this situation, and asking the Lord what our next steps to take were, we felt that He told us to reprint and send another round of letters. So that's just what we did!

About an hour ago I just got back from a jog around the neighborhood. It was hot and sunny this afternoon, and I've been out of my running routine for a few weeks now. Needless to say, it was more difficult than usual and I was tired! But every time I felt like saying "eh, that's enough. I'll just walk it now." I kept telling myself "one more mailbox. just make it past one more mail box!" As I was doing this it totally reminded me of this past week, and what we've learned through this whole experience with our letters. Yes, there will be times when we're tired of fighting and we feel like saying "eh, that's enough now," and we'll want to quit, but that's not what we should do! We need to keep fighting for it and take it one step at a time! Yes, God is always moving and working, but we need to do our part! God moves on behalf of our prayers! So we need to take action, and even when it seems to be getting too difficult we need to persevere!

So, this week I feel that God has definitely been teaching me about perseverance! I think it's really neat that as we're learning about spiritual warfare we get to put what we learn into practice, and I'm super excited to see what God has in store and how this all works out! :)

YWAM Conference 2014

So I just got back from North Carolina last night! Our DTS and SOMD went to the YWAM Charlotte base for a conference last week, and it was so much fun! The YWAM Nashville, Orlando, and New York bases were there too. I got to meet a bunch of cool people and hear a little about what God's been doing in their lives, so that was really neat. It also made me break out of my shell a little bit, because I had to introduce myself to new people! Haha. 

We had the privilege of hearing Paul Hawkins speak on The Character and Nature of God, and after that lesson I definitely have some processing to do this weekend! The nature of God is who God is that we cannot be (omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, omnipresent..) and the character of God is who God is that we are to become (loving, forgiving, wise, holy, etc.) The teaching was titled "God is the Model," because we are supposed to be imitators of Christ! (Ephesians 5:1) There was a lot in this teaching that was more like review of what I had already learned in the previous six weeks of DTS, but God definitely spoke through a couple a of points! We've been learning a lot about relationship with God throughout DTS, and in order to be like Him we first need to have relationship with Him, so that was basically the overall point of the lesson. Without relationship with Him, we can't really know Him, therefore we can't become like Him. We can't trust Him, so we can't live by faith in Him. (That summary did the lesson no justice, but it's hard to wrap it up simply! It was such a great lesson.) But what really "punched me," as Paul put it, was when he said "the desire of your heart is what your thinking about when you're not thinking about anything." (Psalm 19:14) That one hurt, because I realized that what my heart has been desiring is not more of the Lord. I've been desiring things that will never be able to satisfy me, and I've been cheating myself of true joy and perfect satisfaction in my loving Father! I'm so glad that the Holy Spirit threw that one right in my face this past week, because I know I will be so much happier when I am free of that chain keeping me from a beautiful relationship with God! It's so exciting to look back and see how I've been growing in my relationship with Him more everyday! :)

God's surprise!

So this past Thursday at VOA (Volunteers of America), my friend Leah and I decided to go sit by this lady who was all by herself. Her name was Cocoa (I'm not entirely sure if she spells it that way though), she has two kids, and she's from Africa! As we started talking to her we got to find out a little bit about what she's gone through, and as she was telling us I just really felt like I needed to offer to pray for her. I was afraid to ask though, because I didn't want to weird her out or anything. (And for those of you who know me, you know that I'm not usually the first to offer to pray out loud, or do anything involving speaking in front of other people haha. So it was definitely the Holy Spirit moving!) So I thought I'd just wait a few weeks until we got to know her a little better. Then as the conversation went on she asked us if we were in school, and as Leah started to tell her about Youth With A Mission she just looked at us in surprise and told us that she was in YWAM before! The look on her face was a mix of shock, excitement, and comfort. She continued to tell us about how she did her DTS in 1996 in Kona, and about a few other secondary schools she went to. As she was talking to us about it she teared up a few times, and it was just so moving! I didn't even know what to say because I was so excited about what was happening. We could tell that she definitely needed that at that moment, to hear about YWAM. It was so neat to see how the Lord had drawn us to talk to this woman, and watch Him totally work in the situation for each of our lives. He totally took over and gave me the words and courage to pray for her, and it was so awesome to see the Lord's faithfulness to me, how through Him I truly can do anything! Now I can't wait to see her every Thursday to see how she's been doing and how the Lord has been moving in her life. Typing out this story does it no justice, because words can't describe what was experienced! It was just such an exciting night, like God had given me just a little glimpse of what I'll be experiencing on outreach in Peru this summer, and in life in general as I continue to obey the Holy Spirit and walk in His plan for my life! 
So yeah! That was my big experience from this past week, and I can't wait to see what God will show me next! :)

Original Design

These past couple of days we talked about our identity in Christ and how to live in freedom as who He created us to be. We talked about how God made us for a purpose, and that He wants to reveal that purpose to us. Just like He revealed His plan to Abraham in Genesis 17:3-8, to John the Baptist in Luke 1:13-17, and to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1:4-5. We are each set apart to do something special for God! Imagine if Abraham hadn't followed God's plan? Where would we be today? We need to fulfill the purpose that God has given us.

So yesterday after class we all individually got together with a couple of leaders and asked God to reveal what He originally designed us for. It was so cool! As we prayed and heard from the Lord, I could already see how some of His purposes have already been playing out in my life! Things about my personality that I never would have really thought had significance as part of His plan, He put there on purpose to help me lead others towards Him! Just to hear what amazing things the Lord wants to do with my life was so exciting! The second part to this was asking what strongholds have been keeping me from being the person I was made to be. A stronghold is an obstacle between us and God, a place where we have given Satan control in our life. My obstacle was definitely fear - insecurity, fear of man, shyness (inferiority pride also tied in with this.) So we prayed and asked God to reveal what may have started this fear in my life. We didn't get a specific answer, but for as long as I can remember I have always been afraid, especially as a kid. I think that it's just a place that I let Satan have control over when I was young, and without thinking too much of it, it's just grown with me. So then I got to do the four "R's." Repent, Receive, Rebuke, Replace. First, I repented and asked God to forgive me for believing the lies Satan has been feeding me, then I received His forgiveness. Then I rebuked the devil, which was awesome! Due to the fear I was so consumed by, I never wanted to before. Even while here at YWAM. So it felt really great to know that in Christ I have the authority to tell Satan to get the heck out of my life, and I don't have to be afraid to do it! And then I asked God to reveal His truth to me to replace the lies I had believed. This is an important step, because in Luke 11:24-26 we see that it's not enough to simply clean out the lies. We have to replace them with truth so when Satan comes back to try again He won't be able to enter our lives.

Yesterday was such a great day! It was so amazing to have this break through in my relationship with Christ! I feel so much freedom now, and even though I know there will always be more stuff to work through, I'm so excited to see what God's going to show me next!

Picture time!

Hey guys! So since I've just been posting about what I've been learning, I figured I'd just post some fun stuff today! Here are some pictures from these past four weeks! :)

           On Wednesdays we like to dress up, just to shake things up a bit!

   My friend Mikaila and I taking out the trash after brunch clean up last Saturday.

  Just having some fun with the DTS (Discipleship Training School) and SOMD (School of Ministry Development) girls!

              All of us DTS girls dressed up for Easter Sunday last weekend!

                                               Local ministry at Exit 0!

Like an Eagle

  This week we're learning about "The Father Heart of God." Yesterday our speaker, Doug Easterday, taught on something that I consider to be the most impactful lesson that I have heard so far at DTS. He talked about how studying the Bible is more than just "studying the Bible," it's about finding the meaning behind it. (Seems super obvious, I know.) As an example, he used Deuteronomy 32:11, which says, "..like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions." Personally, whenever I have read or heard this verse in the past, I just took it at face value. Doug, however, looked at this verse and asked himself, "why an eagle? Why, over all the other types of birds He created, does God choose to compare Himself to an eagle?" So Doug decided to research eagles! What he discovered was that 1.) a mother eagle is the best mother of all birds, 2.) baby eagles are stubborn, and 3.) baby eagles are slow learners. Seems to be adding up already! Haha. 

  Now, to break down the verse a bit so we have a better understanding. First, it says that, like an eagle, God "stirs up the nest." I didn't know anything about eagles, so just taking this at face value meant absolutely nothing to me. However, when Doug described what it meant for an eagle to stir up its nest, it immediately took a new level. When a mother eagle builds a nest for her babies, it's about one meter wide, and one meter high. She lines the inside with soft leaves and feathers for her young, and keeps them safe in this mansion of a nest. Whatever her babies need, she provides! Baby bird seems to have it made; but when it's time for baby bird to learn to fly, she completely destroys the nest! Baby bird has no idea what is going on - why in the world is mom destroying our house? She's gone crazy! Have you ever felt, either in your heart or the circumstances you're going through, that God has gone crazy? You have no idea why He's doing what He's doing in your life? You're so comfortable, why would God stir up the nest just when everything is so great? You being comfortable is exactly the reason. We don't want to just sit idle, staying right where we our in our journey with God. We want to grow in it, to be challenged! Which brings us to the second part of the verse, which says that the eagle "hovers over its young." I don't know about you, but when I think of the word "hover," I think protection, like God's watching over us, making sure that we're safe and that everything's going well. Far from it! Incase you haven't noticed, an eagle's wings are made very differently than a hummingbird's! This is something I had never put much thought into before. For an eagle to hover, it has to rapidly flap its wings, which span from 6-9 feet! It takes more energy for an eagle to hover than it does for it to fly full speed. Needless to say, there's some major wind going on around baby bird's freshly stirred nest. Do you ever feel like God's blowing some major wind in your direction, and you don't understand why? Well there are two reasons for the mother eagle to create such a wind storm, and the first is because the baby eagle's wings are not yet strong enough for flight. The first reaction of the baby eagle is to hold his wings up, straining against the wind. This is difficult for him, but in doing this, his wings are being strengthened. The second reason is because a baby eagle's feathers aren't ready for flight, but there is oil in their body that changes their baby feathers to adult feathers. This wind storm draws out that oil! When there's wind in our lives and we don't understand why God's putting us through it, He is doing it to strengthen us! He's building up the muscles in our wings, and he's helping us grow our adult feathers so we can fly! In the third part of the verse, it says that God is like an eagle "that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions." When it's time for the baby eagle to learn how to fly, momma eagle pushes him right off the branch, then swoops under and catches him. Mom does this over and over until the baby learns to fly! I found it interesting that some eagles take as little as fifteen tries to learn how to fly, while others take over five HUNDRED! Do you know what the difference is between the eagle that learns in fifteen tries and the one that takes over five hundred? It's the attitude of the baby eagle. Remember how in the beginning I said that baby eagles are stubborn? If you haven't made the connection yet, we are the baby eagle. I don't know about you, but I can be very stubborn! Which eagle do you want to be? Because God is going to keep throwing us off that branch until we decide to check our attitude, give it our best shot, spread our wings, and fly with Him. A great quote that I took from this lesson was "God is more interested in your character than your comfort." So next time God is stirring up your nest, creating a giant wind storm, or throwing you off a branch and catching you on His wings, remember that He's doing it to make you better! He is not a cruel God who just enjoys to sit back and watch us struggle, He has OUR best interest in mind! He wants to strengthen us so we can soar! 

  Needless to say, I have now seen exactly how important it is to take the time to look deeper into the meanings behind God's word. Something as simple as doing a little research on eagles can give a verse a whole new perspective! 

Volunteers of America

Hey guys! So just a quick update : last night was my second night of local ministry! This week we broke into our groups, so it was my first week with my team, and my first time at Volunteer's of America. We got to go help clean up the cafeteria, serve dinner, and meet some sweet people! We also got to help out by watching the kids in the play room! I was a little nervous on the way over there, because I'd never done anything like it before. But once we got there and started working, the nerves went away! It was so much fun, and I can't wait to go back next week! I'm excited to see how God uses us in this ministry. :)

Relationships with Dean Sherman!

Alrighty guys! 

  So this week we talked about relationships and attractions! We watched videos of Dean Sherman, and it was great. I would highly recommend these videos to everyone in the world. He started off by suggesting that "every problem in the world is a relationship problem." When you stop and think about it, he is absolutely right; and the root of this relationship problem is pride. Why do we have trouble relating to others? Why do we have wars? We either believe that we're superior to others (arrogant pride), or we believe that they're superior to us (inferior pride.) Both of which are lies. Now, he covered so much about relationships, and I would absolutely love to sit here and type out everything I've learned this week! But that would take way too long, and I'm sure there's no way you would have the time or interest to sit and read it all; so I'm just going to tell you guys which part really stood out to me. 

  The lessons weren't all about "romantic" relationships, but it's what we closed the week with, and it's something I've kind've been struggling with lately. We talked about having a "relationship philosophy," and then about "relationship progression." For the relationship philosophy, we talked about how we should 1.) have the right motives, 2.) avoid "dating syndrome," (dating just for the sake of dating) and 3.) that we should give up our rights to sex and marriage. The first two were already obvious to me, but even though I kind've already knew the third one, it really struck me. Giving up the idea of marriage in order to follow God is something I've had a hard time surrendering; even if it is just for this season of my life. I allow myself to believe the lie that if I don't leave time for it, it will never happen. Even though I know it's not true! Dean said that "if we give it up as a right, God can/will give it back later as a privilege." I really liked that. I know God's not going to allow me to be miserable or anything! That's not what He wants for me, He wants me to experience His love. The only true joy comes from Him, and I would never find a fulfilling marriage outside of Him anyway. Then, under relationship progression, Dean talked about how to minimize the chance of getting hurt in "romantic attraction." First, we need to honestly admit to ourselves whether or not we view the relationship as romantic. If you're not sure, Dean gave the perfect example of how to find out - ask yourself how you would feel if that person married someone else. If it's painful to think about, you're romantically attracted to that person. Second, we need to seek the Lord about it. This seems totally obvious, but it's extremely important. We need to seek the Lord and ask whether or not it's a relationship that would glorify Him; don't allow yourself to be in love without seeking God first. Third, make Jesus the Lord of your emotions!!! This is something I have completely failed at. I haven't been a good steward to my emotions. We shouldn't just give out our emotions to anyone who will take them - we need to keep them safely guarded until God gives us the "ok" to go forward with a relationship! Another amazing point that was made was that when we don't allow the Lord to rule our emotions, then our emotions are ruling us. Therefore, we are allowing them to take a higher place in our hearts than God, and that is a form of idolatry. I had never thought of it that way, so I thought that was a really great point! Fourth, we need to communicate the relationship to an objective person. When we're in a relationship, our vision gets extremely clouded, and others can see issues that we can't. It's really important to have that advice from someone who is not emotionally involved in this relationship. Finally, communicate to your parter. Notice that this is the LAST step! Until you have sought the Lord, gotten the ok, and talked it over with your objective person, do not tell this certain guy/girl how you feel! Now, when communicating with this certain someone, make sure the timing is right. If you do it too soon, you could freak them out; but if you wait too long you could just be leading that other person on. Then after you've communicated, and if you're both on the same page, continue communicating! Don't allow your emotions to go past what has already been communicated between the two of you. You don't want to get too far into it emotionally if the other person isn't on the same page. 

So that's what I've been working on this week! We need to determine to please God in our relationships, and not just romantic relationships, but in our friendships too. :)

Exit 0

Hi!

  So, while concentrating on how to update you guys on what I've been learning in DTS, I forgot to share about our first local ministry outing last Thursday! It was so much fun! We got to go help out an awesome local ministry called Exit 0. 
  
  It's an outreach that helps out the homeless in a lot of different ways, and it's really neat! We were going to go help with cooking and serving dinner, but because the timing didn't work out, we got to go help them in other ways! We went to their base and the guys helped build a shelf for their storage, and we girls helped sort through a lot of the clothes and things that had been donated. They also told us a lot about what they do and how they got started. They provide daily meals, clothes, toiletries, and other things too! They also have a school bus that they're going to be using to bring showers to the homeless. Not only for them to be clean, but also so they can go to job interviews! This all started with one man and his family who began passing out care bags, gallon sized ziplock baggies filled with several different snack foods, and a pair of socks. Now it's a big local outreach! All because a man decided that, instead of just thinking about making a difference, he would actually take those first steps to doing it! Now they are making a difference in the lives of others, and sharing God's love along the way! :) 

  The whole time he was sharing his story with us, I was so inspired! I'm so glad we had the opportunity to help out with their ministry, and I hope we get the opportunity to do it again sometime! 

YWAM, Week Two!

Hey Everyone! 

   So this past week went by SO fast! It's crazy! Since we've been learning so much, and I've only been posting once a week, prepare for this to be a long post! Haha. 
We had an amazing speaker, Steve Sizemore, come share with our DTS this week. He taught on so much, I definitely can't cover it all on here; but I can cover the ones that really stood out to me!

   First, we talked about what it means to be a disciple, and what we're called to do as disciples. In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus says, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." We talked about the four big verbs in this verse - Jesus tells us to go, to make, to baptize, and to teach. Steve asked us what we thought the most important verb in this verse was, and we all voted. I voted "go." Going is definitely important, but he explained that the greek translation for "go" in this context could actually be "as you are going." So if you're already going, then the most important verb is "make." A lot of the time it seems like we need a special calling to be and to make a disciple, but really God calls us all to do it! To follow God is an amazing thing, but discipling shouldn't be "special." As Christians, it should be normal to us! We are all called to make disciples, and that doesn't mean you have to fly halfway around the world to do it. It can be as easy as talking to your next door neighbor! I loved the way Steve explained discipling to us. He made it seem so casual, when in my mind it always seemed so difficult. 

   Second, we talked about God's grace, and how we tend to mainly focus on only one side of it. We focus on His extravagant grace, the grace that forgives and continues to forgive our sins. We forget to realize His empowering grace. Steve phrased it like this - "Grace is an empowering presence. It's the dynamic force/power given to us by God, through which we have the desire and power to do God's will. To become Christ-like." In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God tells Paul, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Titus 2:11&12 says, "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'no' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and Godly lives in this present age." So God's grace is more than just forgiveness, it's also the power and strength that He gives us, His disciples, to live for Him. 

  We have also been focusing a lot on pride and humility! We talked about different forms of pride, the core root of pride, and why God hates it so much. 1 Peter 5:5 says, "…All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble'." So exactly why does God oppose pride? Because the core root of pride is lies. Where there is pride, there is either a lie about God, myself, or others. When I'm prideful, I am either believing a lie that I am more than I really am, or less than I really am. God hates pride because it is the very opposite of who He is - He is truth. God wants us to humble ourselves, because the more humble we become, the more He can reveal to us His character. We also talked about how to recognize our humility without being prideful, how gratitude is a great way to exercise humility, and how grace relates to humility. 

  I feel that this week God really showed me that the principle I need to be applying to my life right now is humility. I know, obvious answer, huh? But in order to have a deeper relationship with the Lord, I need to humble myself. I need to recognize just how much I really do need Him in my life. I need to fully rely on Him, and stop trying to depend on myself. I need to constantly thank Him for everything He has done in and for my life. And I feel that the character trait God chose to show me this week is His love for me. He humbled Himself, came to earth, was beaten and humiliated, and suffered a horrible death - for me. Sometimes it's hard to follow what He wants me to do, and it can be scary to share what I believe; but even when I fail, He still loves me and always gives me another chance. His love never fails me, even if I don't deserve it. 

Week One as a YWAMer!

Hey Guys!

  So, today is Thursday, April 3rd! That means that it's the fourth day of my first week here at YWAM Louisville! I'm so excited!! It has already been so great. I have been able to make new friends so quickly, which is practically a miracle for me! Everyone is so amazing and so friendly, it's literally impossible to not make friends here. It's also been pretty easy to get right into the swing of things. I haven't felt out of place, or even too homesick yet, which has been another big surprise to me. All in all, I'm already loving my YWAM family!

  One of my assignments as a DTS student is to keep a "creative journal." So basically, at the end of every week I answer questions and write down something that God has taught me. I'm keeping an actual journal, but they said it could be nice to post a public one too, so family and friends can keep up with what's going on in my life right now! It sounded like a good idea to me, so I figured I'd post it here on the blog! So I'll go ahead and just jump right into it! 

  When I first got here and learned that we have an hour every morning set aside for quiet time before starting our day, I honestly got a little nervous. I've never really had a consistent quiet time, let alone for a whole hour. I didn't really know what I was gonna do! So for the first couple days I kinda just sat outside on the bench swing, read my bible, talked to God, and enjoyed the sunrise. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to be waiting for, or expecting to hear. I wasn't even sure I could hear God's voice, because I hadn't experienced what the other girls had been telling me they experience. I thought maybe He just wasn't speaking to me yet. After the first couple days of class though, I started to realize that God had been speaking to me all along. I felt like God had used what we were being taught in class to confirm what I had been thinking in quiet time. The first big issue that was addressed was surrender, which I had just been working through that morning in quiet time. I realized that there are quite a few areas in my life that I thought I had surrendered to the Lord, but really I was still holding onto them in my heart. Then we talked about our relationships with God, how they're personal for each of us, and that because they're personal God speaks to each person in a different way. That struck me too. I had been getting so worried that I wasn't hearing from the Lord, when really I just didn't realize that He had been speaking to me all along because I was too busy comparing it to someone else's relationship with Him. 

  Now, the two questions I'm supposed to answer are "what is one aspect of God's character that He has highlighted to me this week?" and "what principle or character trait is God challenging me to apply to my life?" Needless to say, I feel that in this first week God has shown me that there are still things in my life that I need to surrender to Him in order to really seek Him with my whole heart. Total surrender is definitely the principle I need to apply to my life. As for what aspect of God's character was highlighted to me, I have to say it was His guidance. At first it was difficult to know whether or not the Lord was speaking to me, or if it was just my own thoughts that I was hearing; but now I already have a better sense of His guidance, on just the fourth day! And I know that I'm going to learn so many more amazing things while I'm here! 

  So there's a bit of what I've learned this week! I'm so excited for what the Lord has in store for my DTS group! I know it's gonna be great. :)

  

YWAM

Hey Everyone!

    Wow, time is just flying by so quickly!  For one, I can't believe it's already been almost a whole year since we started this page.  Even though we really haven't posted that much.  I guess we kinda fail at this whole "blog" thing haha.  Time just got away from me I guess!  After my sister's wedding, (which was a blast!) we got to go visit them for Thanksgiving, then we traveled for Christmas, and now here we are in the New Year! 

    Another reason I've been so busy is because I've been getting ready to go to YWAM this Spring! For a while I was beginning to worry that I wouldn't be ready in time for the DTS (Discipleship Training School.)  I had applied last summer for the DTS, and I thought that I would be able to get my forms out no problem.  That was the easy part, right?  Wrong.  I wasn't able to get all the forms sent out until this month.  Then I still had to get a new passport, get shots, and raise the rest of my tuition money. I still had a long way to go before I had the rest of that tuition.  Needless to say, I was starting to freak out a little bit.  I kept praying and reminding myself that God will provide the funds, but it was still difficult to keep from getting worried that maybe it wouldn't work out.  I believe that God was just testing me, seeing how long I would keep trusting Him, because sure enough, one day I got a letter in the mail. I never expected what would be inside!  I had received a very generous donation, and from that moment on everything else started falling into place!  I was able to send out the rest of my forms, I set aside the last bit of tuition money I needed, and I had applied for my new passport!  A huge weight had been lifted, and I was so amazed to see God working in this process! My new passport has now arrived, and all I have left to do is get one more shot!

    My DTS date is creeping up on me, and I'm so excited to see what God will show me in this season of my life!  I'm going to be gone for five months, and it's going to be really hard to be away from my family for that long; but I also know that I'm going to make new friendships, and that this will be an experience I will always remember.  I can't wait to see what's in store!